6 Things in 6 Years of Marriage

Things I Learned in Our 6th Year of Marriage June 27th marked 6 years of marriage with the love of my life, Shannel.

I’d be lying if I said we made it here on our own. It’s been nothing short of God’s grace that’s carried us. I’m so thankful for my wife — she’s been my anchor when I felt adrift, my strength when I had none left. Whether you're already married or still believing for your person, I want to share six truths I’ve learned in year six of being married to Shannel. 

6 Things

1. Friends First — Date Often Friendship is the foundation. No matter how long you've been together, keep dating your spouse. Pursue them like you did in the beginning — even when life is loud, find time to be friends who laugh, talk, and just be. I am not perfect at this and even times my wife has to plan it for us. However, the goal is to keep the spark there, that it remains. 

2. Really Listen Listening is more than hearing — it's about valuing her perspective, even when it's hard to understand in the moment. Some of the best healing moments have come when I chose to really listen without trying to fix, defend, or win. Also, listen because the wisdom of your wife is life saving. I have learned so many lessons on how to listen better; during the initial years of us first getting married I would do opposite of what Shannel would say and I learned she was right.  This is the point I am stressing. Listen more. 

3. Same Team, Always When conflict arises, it can feel like you're on opposite sides. But the truth is — you're not the enemy, and she’s not the enemy. You’re on the same team, fighting together against the real enemy: division, pride, misunderstanding. Unity is power.

4. Apologize, Anyhow Even when you feel right — apologize. Humility opens doors, pride keeps closed. It’s not about winning arguments; it’s about protecting connection. A soft heart and a simple “I’m sorry” go a long way.

5. Growth Requires Grace See each other as plants. You’re both evolving. Give each other room to grow without pressure to be perfect. Grace makes space for progress. Some of our most beautiful breakthroughs came when we extended grace, not just truth.

6. Keep God at the Center When we drift from God, we drift from each other. But when He’s at the center, everything else aligns. We’ve learned (sometimes the hard way) that prayer, worship, and spiritual unity are non-negotiables for staying grounded in love.